About 6 1/2 years ago I was a junior in high school, dating an older boy and thought I was untouchable! Then one day I found myself 16 and pregnant. I couldn’t remember the last time I had my period so in between classes a friend and I went to Walgreens, bought a test, and went in the bathroom there to take the test. I peed on the stick and within 30 seconds the word pregnant appeared.
It was the most unreal feeling finding out I was pregnant at such a young age. What would my parents think? What if my boyfriend doesn’t want to become a father now? How am I going to do this? There’s no way I can get an abortion! I have to finish school! How the heck am I supposed to tell everyone? These are all thoughts that ran through my head all within about 2 minutes.
After I took the test I called Matt and I told him the news. The first word to come out of his mouth was “shit!” I have no idea what went through his head in that moment but I can tell you one thing. Matt showed nothing but love and support for me and the decisions that I made over in the next 9 months. We got off the phone and I headed back to school like nothing ever happened.
The next 48 hours felt like 2 weeks. It was time to get the courage to tell my parents, which I did not want to do. I had cheer tryouts that day and I obviously couldn’t try out since I didn’t know how far along I was or what was going on in my body. I told my cheer coach that I was pregnant and she convinced me to tell my mom. She had to shove it into my 16-year-old head that in the best interest for me and the baby was for me to tell my mom so we could go to the doctors and take the next steps. Tryouts were over and I now had to drive home and face the music.
I drove home and went straight to my room. I did not know how to tell my parents. Do I tell my mom and dad together? Do I only tell my mom? Do I wait for Matt to tell them with me? I called my sister and told her I needed her but she was out of town and couldn’t get home so I told her what was happening. She said to take mom out to the garage and tell her there. I know that probably sounds super weird but my mom smoked at the time, so she would be able to smoke and it would be away from my dad. So that’s just what I did.
I asked my mom to come talk to me outside and she looked at me like I was crazy, probably because I was acting so weird, which I’m sure I was. My dad was in their bedroom laying down before he headed to work because he worked midnights at the time.
My mother and I went outside and I mustered the courage to tell her I was pregnant. The look on her face was shock, disbelief, sadness, anger, and disappointment. Let me start by saying she was my biggest supporter through it all but the first words out of her mouth you would not think it would have ended up that way. She told me I HAD to get an abortion. I explained that’s not an option for me, I was having a baby and that was going to be the way it was. I knew then and I know now (remove extra space here)she did not mean it, she was scared. Her baby who was 16 had gotten herself in to the most life changing situation that could happen. We were outside for hours, crying and having the first of many conversations of how the heck I’m going to do this AND finish high school. By the end of the conversation my mom said that she was here for me and that we were going to figure it out together. Don’t get me wrong she was still pissed but she knew that I needed her now more than ever. We agreed to go inside and we would talk more about it tomorrow. What happened next was so unexpected.
We walked in from the garage which was next to my parent’s room. My mom walked goes into her bedroom where my dad was still laying down watching tv and is visibly upset. My dad looks at her and he says “she’s pregnant, isn’t she?” My Mom replied “YUP!” He then screamed “GODDAMN IT!” And chucked his tv remote across the room. I have never run upstairs to my room so fast in my life. I went upstairs and bawled my eyes out. Cried for hours in between calling Matt and talking to him because ya know we were having a kid and needed to figure all this out.
My dad was so mad at me, my mom and especially Matt. You’re probably thinking why my mom, well he fought me on dating Matt like I said in a past post. But my mom always had my back and would say how he’s a sweet boy and he needs to give him a chance. Well that backfired (sorry Mom). He blamed her, which obviously was not her fault at all! We chose to act like adults so now we were forced to become adults and deal with the situation we put ourselves in. My dad was mad at Matt because he got his daughter pregnant, they didn’t speak for four months. The first thing he said to Matt once they finally spoke was “I wanted to punch you in the gut.” It wasn’t a joke either, he was looking dead into his eyes and I have never seen Matt so nervous. Of course he was mad at me for allowing this to happen. My dad didn’t speak to me for two weeks; like not a word to me. I would try to talk to him and he wouldn’t respond, I would cry and cry. My dad has always been my favorite person and to have him so mad and disappointed in me was the worst thing in the world for me. After two weeks we finally talked and I’m sure my mom had a whole lot to do with it. He expressed how he was disappointed in me and how he knew this was going to happen. I told him I was going to make it work. Whatever I had to do it was going to work.
We went through the summer with very few people knowing I was pregnant and let me tell you once I knew someone found out it was so uncomfortable. How am I showing my face to my family who I’ve let down by becoming another statistic? My Nana Dee reassured me that if anyone could do this, it was me. And that it doesn’t matter if I was pregnant or not, everyone still loved me.
What I haven’t mentioned yet is my best friend Taylor. She was there for me through it all, I told her right after school and she was there with me every step of the way after that. With telling Coach, texting me while I told my mom, first doctor’s appointment, first ultrasound, and most importantly with me when we went back to school for our senior year.
I was dreading going back to school because someone who I trusted turned on me and started to tell people that I was pregnant. So I knew that the rumors were going around and I was finally going to have to face the music. I didn’t want to go back because Matt had graduated so I was just going to look like the school slut who got knocked up and I was going to be alone.
The day before my first day back we had the anatomy ultrasound and we were going to find out if we were having a boy or girl. My mom, sister, and Matt all were with me at that appointment. While scanning over me the tech asked if we wanted to know the gender and of course I said yes! She told us “It’s a girl!” My mom, sister and I were so excited, I was going to have a little princess! Matt’s response will never be forgotten with so little excitement he said “it’s a girl?” Like most guys he wanted a little boy, but too bad so sad! On the car ride home I decided I was going to announce I was pregnant on Facebook so the rumors could be put to rest. I said “So what’s bigger news than tomorrow I’m gonna be a senior or that I’m having a baby girl!” There it was out there, take it or leave it. I could not believe the response, I thought I was going to be slut shamed and I couldn’t have been more wrong. Instead my friends all stood behind me and told me that they were proud of me for growing up and doing what I had to do. Can I just say, what a relief!
The next day I had school, everyone was going to see me for the first time since knowing I was pregnant and I was 20 weeks so there was no hiding it. I didn’t want to walk in alone so Taylor parked next to me in the parking lot and asked if I was ready I said I guess and we got out of our cars. We grabbed our stuff, she took my hand and we walked in. It felt like everyone was waiting at the door for me to walk in. Everyone stopped talking and turned to look at my new bump. Taylor and I just kept walking, she walked me all the way to my first class and reassured me that everyone can screw off and keep my head up! The looks never stopped and they got worse as the day went on, seeing teachers from previous years and the freshman and sophomore students who still had that mentality that their shit don’t stink. After about two weeks I stopped noticing the dirty looks and the whispers, like Taylor said everyone can screw off!
As the year went on it became the new normal to be pregnant. My friends and teachers got used to it and I was treated the same as I was before I was knocked up! I went full term while going to school every day. Let me tell you, sitting for 7 hours a day became so uncomfortable at 30+ weeks, but I did it! Christmas break came and went and I was still pregnant! I returned to school but it became unbearable sitting in class so I ended up staying home for about a week, and Taylor would bring me all of my homework. I’m telling you she was the real MVP!
I had Mia Marie on January 11th, 2012 and became a teen mom! Every fear, nerves, and negative thought just disappeared as I looked at my sweet little baby. I was determined to not be like the statistic and to be the best mom I could be for this little girl!
I was going to finish school if it was the last thing I did! I didn’t spend my entire life going to school to throw it away and potentially ruin my future. A couple of weeks after I found out I was pregnant my parents, Matt and I decided that I would take a class in summer school, go to school first semester and finish my senior year online at home. So that’s what I did, and guess what?! I graduated with my class, with my friends that I started kindergarten with! I did it, I finished school and I had a baby, I was making it work.I couldn’t of went through with my decision if it wasn’t for Matt, my parents and Taylor. They were the ones who helped me through the most challenging days of my teen years before and after having Mia.
Yes, I was a child when I had a baby. Yes, it was unbelievably difficult. Yes, I struggled daily. Yes, I did what I believe was the right decision. Yes, I was the best mom I could be to Mia. Yes, it was the best decision I have ever made. No, I don’t wish it happened any differently because if I hadn’t had Mia when I was in high school chances are Matt and I would of went our separate ways, Axel and August wouldn’t be here and my life wouldn’t be as amazing as it is now. And I think I can speak for my family and myself, Mia is the best thing that has happened to us. She has helped form Matt and I into the adults we are today, made us fall in love all over again and urged us to have our family grow.